I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
if i died would you start the facebook group?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Randomize
