do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
