Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
