real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
