So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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