if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
