This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
