you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
