please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize