Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
