I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
