before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
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A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
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just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize