i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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