No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
