its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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