well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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