that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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