I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
