talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
