He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
