Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
