Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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