? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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