How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
