me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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