My brain says no but my pants say off.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
