belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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