remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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