You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize