Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
