2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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