Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
