There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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