But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
