The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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