What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The adults are the big ones right?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
