We're like a lot better than the average bears
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
