Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
