WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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