dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
