She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
