god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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