As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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