i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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