you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize