Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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