while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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