And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
