why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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