Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
