Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
