What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
