I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize