how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
