it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My dick has a subreddit
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
