As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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