There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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