im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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