what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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