dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
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It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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