i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
