Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
